TRUTH: You’ll never get bored with all the things to do in Phuket.

If Phuket is the Rolling Stones of Thailand’s party scene then Patong is Mick Jagger. This is where it’s going down, boys and girls of Slumber Party! There are *deep breath* bars, clubs, restaurants, shopping malls, food markets, boxing stadiums, museums, shooting ranges, wakeboarding and parasailing activities, bowling alleys, go-kart race tracks, surf houses, cinemas, zip lining adventure parks, AND afabulous cabaret.

With so many activities to take into consideration, we decided to narrow it down to cinco. Consider these our personal favorites, but as you can see from our quick breakdown there is A LOT to do. So, if you can’t get no satisfaction in Patong then we have no sympathy for you, poor devil.

That’s two Rolling Stones references in one sentence. I’m on .

So, let’s shine a light on five things you HAVE to do in Patong!

Three Rolling Stones references…

#1 – Parasailing (And Avoiding Jet Skis!)

No visit to a beach town/city would be complete without taking part in at least one aquatic activity. Although, our first pastime is actually one that lets you hover above the water: Parasailing. There are a number of Thais walking around Patong Beach who try to reel in backpackers and tourists for a smooth sailing experience. Because of the amount of operators providing this fun service, it is easy for you to strike a good deal. The prices tend to be around 1,000 Baht, but depending on your negotiation skills (or a lack thereof) it can be more or less. So, walk around the beach until you’ve found someone who offers a good price and with whom you feel comfortable.

On the flipside, you should feel understandably uncomfortable with jet ski rental agencies. What the Grand Palace scam is for Bangkok that is the Jet Ski scam for Phuket. The basic gist is this: You rent a jet ski, have the time of your life until it turns out into a nightmare when the agent demands compensation for the damages which you have “caused”. A tale as old as tourism in Thailand. Now, you may think: “No problem. I took a bunch of pictures that show the jet ski before I rented it. It looks exactly the same…. Right?”Unfortunately, that’s often not the case as those cunning scammers cover the damages on their jet skis with paint that washes off during your ride.

Thanks, but we’d rather stick with stand-up paddleboarding and kayaking instead then!

#2 – Wakeboarding (Wake AF)

But if you really feel the need for speed, then head to the east of Patong to the Phuket Wake Park. Strictly speaking, this is a little outside of the Patong area but we’ll make an exception for it. The company has been around for over 20 years and their manmade lake is specifically designed for this adrenaline-fueled activity. It is over 400 meters long, 100 meters wide and includes 13 different UNIT obstacles and a high-tech reverse winch cable system. The latter means that there is no speedboat pulling you along the water.

It’s a ton of fun and not just for the professional frothers among you. Beginners can apply for a package for 1,850 Baht, which includes a 30-minute personal training, 2-hours of shredding the gnar, and all the necessary equipment. Other programs range in price from 650 Baht in the early morning to 1,600 Baht for the whole day.

The park also includes a swimming pool, chill out area, an open-air bar, a restaurant, a rooftop terrace amongst other facilities. In short: it is easy to spend an entire day here with all your friends.

#3 – Surfing on a Flowrider

Water activities dominate our list, but, in our opinion, rightfully so. Simply nothing goes hand in hand better than having fun in the water while enjoying a couple of cold beer. We know what we are talking about! After all, we masterfully combine these two in our not-to-be-missed Island Awesomeness Tour.

After this shameless plug, let’s talk about the Surf House in Patong Beach. This fantastic center is home to a top-of-the-line FlowRider, allowing you to surf in-doors when the waves out on the ocean are non-existent. This fine piece of technology creates artificial sheet waves for both beginners and the more experienced surfers. Feel like doing that for an hour? For 1,000 Baht, it’s all yours.

The Surf House includes a bunch of stores as well, where you can purchase beachwear and all kinds of surf-related products.

For us, this is the perfect activity to end the day and start the evening, thanks to its kickass Wipeout Bar and close proximity to Bangla Road.

#4 – Shopping at Banzaan Market, Malin Plaza, and Jungceylon Shopping Mall

It’s time to spend all your precious Baht on food, clothes, souvenirs, and countless in-house frivolities! The Banzaan Market is a fresh market, meaning it revolves around vegetables, fruits, meat, seafood, flowers, and delightful Thai treats. Compared to many other markets of this kind, this market is definitely one of the cleaner and more organized ones. The building and its interior design are modern and even includes escalators leading up to the food court. The food here is delicious and cheaper than the restaurants around Patong Beach.

Malin Plaza, on the other hand, is all about your typical Thai shopping experience. Rows upon rows of t-shirts, swimming shorts, bikinis, sarongs as well as souvenirs, and phone and travel accessories fill up the roofed plaza. Again, the prices here are a lot better than in many other places around Patong. No need to get ripped off. So, if you want to get something nice and unique for your loved ones back home, Malin Plaza has it all. It goes without saying that there are a number of stalls offering affordable street food outside of the main area.

Now, the Jungceylon Shopping Mall is a different beast altogether. We almost decided to give it its own spot, thanks to its sheer size, grandeur, and a wide array of activities and shopping opportunities. Jungceylon hosts more than 200 stores, some of which, like the Robinson Department Store, are dedicated to brand names such as Armani, Ralph Lauren, and Estée Lauder. Then there are sections for clothing – particularly the ladies will find themselves in heaven – household appliances, accessories, and God knows what more. Oh, and the 200,000 m² area of the complex is also big enough for an entire Big C supermarket to fit in. And remember in the intro when we listed things like food markets, cinemas, museums, bars, shooting ranges, and bowling alleys? Yeah, that’s also all in here. It’s madness! The fun kind of madness, but still! Jungceylon definitely wouldn’t look out of place in Bangkok’s Siam area.

#5 – Go Kart Racing

Channel your inner Yoshi from Mario Kart and feel the rush with your friends on Patong’s race tracks. Patong Go Kart Speedway has a 750-meter long track and karts with either 200cc (60 km/h or 37 mph) or 400cc (110 km/h or 68 mph). They started out in 1991 and based on that fact alone, you know that these guys and gals know what they are doing. The highly trained staff follows all the necessary safety procedures and the race track is impeccable with red and white tires lined up on the roadside. In case, you are a horrible driver like the writer of this post.

They also provide everything for a Mini Grand Prix, when you bring four of your friends along. Or how about a little off-road adventure with buggies? Well, the company offers just that as well. Their dirt track is located just outside of the kart area.

While Go Kart racing is a lot of fun, it also comes with a hefty price tag. A 15-minute can already cost you more than 1,000 Baht. However, if that is no problem for you and your friends, then go full throttle!

So Much Room For Activities!

We can only repeat what we mentioned in the beginning: There is a lot you can do in Patong and it’s impossible to get bored here. Yes, it might not be everyone’s cup of beer tea due to the number of tourists and backpackers. But if you want to have a total blast, then travel no further than Phuket’s very own Sin City.

Now, what do you think of Patong and its famous beach? Yay or Nay? And what are some of your favorite activities and shenanigans? Let us know in the comments below ya filthy animals!